Writer Profiles – Phil Keeling

Phil Keeling

In the build up to our new issue, Lost and Found, we get to know our latest group of writers, their wider work and what games they love, and of course their experiences of writing for Five out of Ten. Pledge to support our Patreon and get the new issue as soon as it’s released!

Phil Keeling is a writer and comedian based out of Atlanta; a city that encourages him to drink and barricade his door to avoid interacting with the outside world. He can be found on Youtube as ElConquistadork, where he creates game reviews, Let’s Plays, and the series ‘Phil Plays A Porno’.

How did you get started in writing?

I desperately wanted to work in field where I could take myself far too seriously while simultaneously making almost no money whatsoever. So it was either writer or street mime.

What inspired you to write your features for Five Out Of Ten?

I’ve found that video games parallel various points in my life in a surreal sort of way. I like that: the blurring of the real world and the fake one.

What is your favorite part of your Five out of Ten features?

The same as most of my writing: the fact that no matter how serious and contemplative I get, I’ve almost certainly written it while not wearing pants.

What do you do when you’re not writing about video games?

And aside from actually playing video games as well? I enjoy reading, wine, gin, and fighting hopelessly against Atlanta traffic.

How do you deal with writer’s block?

The same way some people deal with their son’s porcelain doll collection: just keep your eyes straight ahead and try not to think about it.

What are you going to write for us next time?

I’m trying to work out a piece about the Satanic Panic of the 80’s and 90’s.

Where will you be five years from now?

In the belly of a whale muttering incoherently about vengeance. That or my book will be published by then. Or both. Yeah, let’s go with both.

What are you playing right now?
I’m in the middle of Sakura Shrine Girls for my Phil Plays A Porno series. Also, I’ve recently rediscovered the wonders of World of Warcraft after a four year hiatus.

What’s your favourite game?

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic was the game that made me register that games were another artform instead of just sugary entertainment. The Civilization series has been an addiction since I was very small. Same for the grand ole Sierra adventures of the 80’s and 90’s. And I will never, ever stop playing Bionic Commando.

What advice would you give to other aspiring video game writers?

Let yourself be vulnerable, no matter how terrifying and eager the Internet world might seem. Say what you mean. Don’t get too precious with your ideas. When you’re drunk on a Wednesday do NOT text your ex.

Where can we find more of your work?

My YouTube channel is delightful; you should subscribe. My written work can be found at www.conquistadork.net.


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